Honeymoon Part Two: St Lucia

I’m not as clued up as some on the charms of different Caribbean islands, but Rosie was keen to go to Sandals and thought the Sandals Halcyon on St Lucia would be the perfect place to rest and recover after our Vegas exploits.

The Halcyon is a smaller resort than the others, but you still get access with a free shuttle bus to the two other Sandals resorts on the island – the Regency La Toc and the Grande St Lucian. If we’d been here longer we might have ventured out.

St Lucia is a small island in the middle of a chain of islands that ends with Trinidad and Tobago, just off the coast of Venezuela. Having passed between the British and the French and back again and then back again (classic Caribbean colonialism), it has a rich culture where the influences from its former occupiers weave their way throughout the island life. The languages most commonly spoken are English and French (naturally), but also Patwa, or St Lucian Creole, a French-based Creole spoken locally.

We were keen to get out and about on the island, but having only a week here we were also keen to rest and relax – preparations for the wedding had resulted in a slowly wound-up tension that needed to be very much unwound so relaxation was the number one aim.

But we checked out a few excursions and had a “drive-in volcano” tour booked before we even arrived. We felt that the drive-in element is very much misleading. The tour takes you in a jeep around the island and into a rainforest, where a guide will take you through to a couple of waterfalls. This part was beautiful, and the guide was really knowledgeable about the various plants and trees that grow naturally on the island.

Back to the jeep for some dodgy rum punch, most of which ended up poured surreptitiously out the side of the jeep while the guide’s attention was diverted elsewhere! From there we were taken to some hot mud springs, where the natural heat of the water and the mud baths got up to 80C. There were five baths to choose, each getting cooler as the water flowed downhill. We opted for the second bath, which was still a pretty toasty 60-70C and made me fully aware of exactly where I’d been bitten during the week!

We slapped on the mud and let it to cool and harden, before washing it off to reveal a slighter rejuvenated skin. It wasn’t the miracle skin care regime it had been sold as (we never thought it would be!) but it was fun to draw pictures on each other with mud and we did feel better for it.

There was another group in a jeep out with us. The jeeps were largely the same though you could still tell them apart, even without the fact that their jeep was plain white and ours was painted like a giant zebra. After showering off the mud we headed back to our jeep where the other group were milling around, some were even in the back. As we approached they realised this might not be their jeep and that their bags were on the other. “How can you tell the difference??” one woman said. Jeez, I don’t know, maybe because ours is a massive zebra on wheels and yours is just plain??

The week was very much chilled at the resort. Pool, beach, bar, books. Perfect. We spent our time moving between the eateries, being the main restaurant (Bayside) and the over-water restaurant (Kelly’s Dockside) for breakfast (amazing pancakes), Bayside and the beach bar for lunch (amazing wings and blue cheese dip), and the various themed restaurants for dinner – amazing steak at Kelly’s, delicious Italian at Mario’s, a la carte at Bayside (amazing lamb shank) and the stand-up comedy chef at the Teppanyaki restaurant, Kimonos.

Then news arrived that Tropical Storm Brett was on its way. Sure enough, on Thursday night, the storm hit the island and that put the mockers on our other planned trip – the Friday night street party in Gros Islet – as the party was cancelled and so was our tour. The aftermath of the storm didn’t seem too bad, except for a lot of debris had washed up on the shore. It wasn’t until later that we realised that Kelly’s Dockside would be closed for a few days while they repaired the damage caused.

And, thanks to Storm Brett, the included water sports were also closed down until the beach had been cleared, which meant the kayaking, snorkelling and stand-up paddle boarding were all on hold until it was deemed safe again. The beach remained open for sunning and bathing, but the water sports hut didn’t re-open before we left, which we were really disappointed about. If you’re going to try something new that may result in you falling in the water, you want to be falling into the warm Caribbean Sea, not the freezing cold of somewhere like Rutland Water.

Then it was time to go home, but we got an email from British Airways saying that our flight was delayed and that they would be in touch with more details. After trying to call BA, call our travel agent who tried to call BA, both without success, we got through to an advisor on the website chat who said to go to the airport for instructions. We had been offered our room for another night but as we couldn’t find anyone who could confirm that we’d be reimbursed the $450, we took the 90-minute transfer to the airport.

Through torrential rain, and incredibly dangerous roads (poor visibility plus heavy rain plus wild island driving equalled many prayers uttered) we finally arrived at an empty airport, where there was no BA staff, but a half-explanation that the flight was cancelled due to “technical issues”. Not only that, but the person in charge said “there are 200 people on this flight, do you see 200 people here [gesturing at the empty airport]? No, then why did you come?”. We could have screamed! We were then told that our emergency hotel was 90 minutes away. We headed all the way back up the island, passing our hotel, to arrive at another hotel where we would get six hours sleep and then be taken back to the airport for our morning flight.

We really enjoyed Sandals, but I genuinely believe that our trip to Mexico was better. The transfer was shorter, the service was better, the food was more varied. Tipping is specifically banned at Sandals, though we did find out how they reward their staff – each time they get mentioned in a positive light on Tripadvisor they go into a monthly prize draw where they could win $100.

The problem we had was that the service became pretty mechanical, as if they were bored half the time. Would we go back to St Lucia? Maybe. Back to a Sandals? Who knows? But, with the exception of the very end of the holiday, and that we couldn’t really get out for the local atmosphere and culture, we had an amazing time. I think with hindsight we would have spent an extra day here and a day less in Vegas, but other than that we had a truly amazing honeymoon.

I thought that it was a once in a lifetime thing, but I’m assured it mostly certainly won’t be!